Good times

I'll keep adding to this as it comes.

In my dream I saw Blink 182 and you were on stage with them playing ‘It's a long way to the top.'
Do you want my mum to tune you?
I want my bra back! And stop wearing it!
If you can imagine a judge crossed with a vampire, I just walked past it.
As if you enjoy anything over Asians getting owned.
You’re not good and you’re a spastic!
I don’t know what’s worse, this or Kirsten!
She just flipped the table upside down.
I bet like $300 you’re asleep on the couch.
Those are the messages I miss, the ‘Hey what the fuck is up life, I’m going to do this!’
Stop feeding Alix under the table like a dog.
I eat lightning and crap thunder.
Ask your voice if you can keep it.
What’s better than gobbies?
The samurais.
I just saw the code pink of all code pinks.
Stop telling me to google things with zilla in it.
You don’t even go for the fucking cats!
Those gay guys are fucking losin' it.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, you instead punched your way out of the womb.
I have no memory of 3am.
You won’t learn to play golf if you throw your clubs.
Did you know aliens are allergic to lava?
Fucking jumping creeps.
Ok, so I just got rolled for $3.70
Do I kill that cunt?
He's just a crab from the harbour.
I drove a tractor!
Ooh, wait til Biggus Dickus hears of this!
I’m trying to sleep, put a pillow over her mouth.
If I stood on something bad, say a jellyfish, what’s the worst that could happen?
Hey tim, I wonder if you’re a homo.
I bet some Bronx rough nut with a mullet is doing a mono on it right now.
Muffins are go!
Ed just shat out an ear plug.
I’m going to grow a filthier beard than you.
You’re harder to talk to than the Pope.
The old tim would.
Thankyou for your foolish advice that got us nowhere.
You’re gonna look like Nick Cave when you’re old.
Your mum’s blinddddd haha.
See.. Now would be a good time to start following soccer, or tennis, or even netball.
You should be on the blog ‘Fuck yeah, beards!’ it’s just dudes with beards.
When you left my boss was like ‘So who’s dick are you squatting on?’
I want cuddles but I can’t because you’re watching Mortal Kombat.
Y’know, I almost perved on you before I realized it was you.
Your dog doesn’t even look like a pancake, you know that right?
No! The cat is not keen on Doritos and salsa.
Fucking hell it smells like mud.
I just thought I’d contact the zilla hotline to say I hope to one day be as sexy as you.
Is that you, or is it just someone who looks like you?
I can actually hear you talking.
I had to put on a shirt to get on this motherfucking bus.
Did someone steal your jesus beard?
I'm a girl, remember this, I do not have a penis.
Nevermind, I learnt the hard way again.
You know, I wish I had my own action figure.
You jew.
I just fell in the mud.
Is there such a thing as downy porn?
Haha wait.. You’re underwater?
I can smell the oil burning already.
Yeah man, bitches go nuts after midnight.
I can't grow pubes.
If I eat the doritos, will you still be my girlfriend?
People just need facial hair, then they'll be so much happier.
You have sent me 107 messages about Chuck Norris.
A dude with a bigger beard just eyeballed me, sonofabitch.
Do you smoke crack now?
This film's the best, it's got ass, and titties, and Bernie Mac.
But it's a 12K chair!!
Your mate.
I think it's broken.
Fucking Norman.
Imagine gargling peanut butter.
We've had this conversation remember?
Where on the planet are you?
Jaws found a stick, he loves life.
You're blacker than Wesley Snipes.
Yeah, well, you're blacker than Dikembe Mutombo.
If you were a Disney character, you'd be the genie.
I can see why you guys like this asian shit.
I am preparing to burn my ring.
Bake that motherfucker!

Ahahahaha.
Good times.
XXX.